Monday, June 16, 2008

"Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it"

I don't trust people who drop quotes in conversations.

Unless you are a professor or a writer, there is no need, my friends. If you are talking to me, I already think you are smart.

Saturday night, on the walk into downtonw, joelio and I ran into this girl from college who just threw out this Descartes quote in the middle of the conversation, and ever since then, I have had an irritable itch under my skin about the encounter. I realize this is completely critical and unfair (and probably more to do with my being intimated at her knowledge), but in general, I really distrust people who must use the words of others to express themselves in conversation. It speaks to me of the ultimate bravado of intelligentsia.

It's like people spouting out bible verses. EWWWW.

Confession: I am HORRIBLE at small talk. I despise it, I cannot manage to make myself care about the mundane facts of the lives of people with whom I am not actually intimate. So when I run into someone I knew in a past life (exception: this girl was joel's friend, not mine - we never actually spoke), I almost never know what to say. This is why I am also bad at church.

Example: I speak to my sister but once every few months, and even then - when you need a couple of "what did you do today?", or "what's your dog been chewing of yours?" questions, I jump right to the jugular of important conversation - like last night. We were speaking about father's day and after 10 minutes of precursory conversation, I used a phrase that may/may not have referenced my inner child dieing the day dad left. I laughed at how quickly into the conversation I said this - without any real warm up, but that's candace for you. This trait needs no explaination to my sister, she knows me quite well. We do not dance around with people.

Despite the tone of moral superiority enclosed, I realize that small talk is a skill, an art that I really MUST perfect if I am to be a small business owner. But there is also something to be said for wanting to extract the bull shit and either spend the time getting to know a person or just not talking to them and letting them go on their merry way.

Both are probably necessary.

But hence my problem with this girl I haven't seen in over 8 years throwing out a Descartes quote about she didn't seem present enough in herself to just use her own words. It felt like an affront.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE ME SOME QUOTES. But make no mistake, I will never use them in a casual conversation with you. And if you insist on using them, I will scoff and sniker.

satirically yours,
mme. bookling.

p.s. the above quote may or may not be from descartes.


Melissa said...

But small talk in a book store is something all together different than a meeting by happenstance. You hold all the conversation piece you need in your hand (hopefully one they will be purchasing!).

I am a horrible small talker as well. This is why I do not make friends that easily.


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Sunfire said...

:) A gretings from Denmark.. nice Blog yu got, and il even copy the way you make yur book link side.. i´l do somthing simular in Danish.. i think.. hope yu keep going.. and i´l keep popping in from time to time.. :)

BR Sam Sorensen / Denmark

candace morris said...

thanks for the compliments! you can get the books graphics from